I found out that a bear does poop in the woods and the Pope does wear a hat.

I don’t want to come off as a stickler against religion but for some reason I find the whole Pope coming to American somewhat over rated. I first want to state that I am not a Catholic, nor am I any denomination, or belong to any church. Thought I thought I would say a few words about the new pope coming to America since the whole Priest touching scandal went down. I don’t profess to know everything about the Catholic church or say that I have attended more then two Catholic services in my entire life, but from what I gather, the religion on a whole is formed like many other Christian based religions out there. They believe in the father and the son and the holy spirit. The believe that Jesus did die on the cross, and from the Cathedrals I have been in, they make sure that image is burned into your brain. I am not downing what they believe, but I would be in a bummer mood if I came to church every Sunday and saw a wax figure of Jesus crying blood and being nailed to a cross.

 

All that aside, I do realize that every church has a figurehead, a leader or president for said religion. There have been many throughout history, but no one even comes close to the Pope. He is flashy, has his own city, and drives around in a bullet proof Mercedes. One thing that prompted me to write this was the fact that the new Pope was virtually an unknown, then all of the sudden, a poof of smoke and this guy is a Rockstar. I will agree that his over-the-top attire fit’s the role of entertainer very well. As I watched CNN and saw the Pope plain land, I was reminded of the Beatles coming to America. The crowd was going crazy, young girls were crying and jumping up and down, and the media was all over it. From what I heard the Pope is bringing back all his old outfits, which have not been seen since before Pope John Paul II. This of course includes the Pope shoes made by Gucci and the robe designed by Versachi.

 

As I watched I thought, Wow, this Pope won’t let a few child molestation charges, by priests, stop him, or the fact that the church knew about the holocaust, no this guy had a spring in his step, and a twinkle in his eye. I started to think that going to school and getting an education was a waste. Had I just gone to seminary and given my life to the church, I could have become Pope. True I would have to give up the flesh, but that is what the young boys are for. All jokes aside, I think we need to knock the Pope down a few pegs. This is someone who is draped in gaudy wears, and is worshiped like a deity. Now I don’t know the bible as well as others, but I believe one of the Ten Commandments does say something along the lines of not worshiping false idols. I respect tradition, but since the church has been under fire the last 10 years, they need to be a bit humble and not go flashing there poster boy to the world.

 

In the end it’s about the connection with God, not the connection of God to one man, to a collection of people. I am not Catholic, but I can say honestly I would not want this man to represent everything that I stand for. A leader should be someone who is on the same level as the people he leads, and do whatever he can for the good of his people. And if the Pope is just a symbol of his church, I think I will take the wax statue of Jesus over this guy. At least I know he suffered and has seen the rough times.

Advice about a clingy ex

Maybe you can answer this.Why would a guy want every free moment a girl has for a couple years and then say she’s smothering him?

 

 

 

About a year ago I was in a really bad place, emotionally, and really one the outs of a very bad relationship. I had just moved out of my place, I was in debt, and was on the verge of a mental breakdown. The year prior, I was consumed in a relationship that was born to fail. I was with someone who was needy, insecure, and had really low self esteem. As a result of this I had been dragged through the mud and actually contemplated taking my own life. Once that thought popped into my head I knew I had to seek help, or change something. I started reading everything I could regarding mental health and wellness. Once I was done with that I started reading books regarding relationship dynamics, then when I was done with that, I moved to human behavior and human relationships. By the time I was done reading I was in a much better place mentally and was a shoulder to lean on if anyone needed it.

 

So hala, here is my answer to your question. I don’t personally know the guy you were with, but from what you have said before it sounds to me that this guy really needed allot of your attention at all times. I can only imagine that he was very possessive, very controlling, and almost always things revolved around him and what he wanted to do. When you weren’t doing things for him, you were outside of his circle and on his bad side. When he had gotten his fill, he was done with you and accused you of being clingy right after he demanded all of your time. I can only imagine that you are left with questions and wondering what happened. In my opinion, a good relationship comes down to a constant flow of ups and downs. The best example of this is illustrated in the picture below.

 

 

 

You will see that there is a gradual increase and decrease, it’s constant but there is always movement and change, and as soon as it dips, it begins to go up again. I like using this example because it represents how we as people change, and thrive on constant progression to be happy. Below is a series of plateaus in a row.

 

 

 What this shows is a low point, a huge spike, a period of no change, and then a sudden drop, and bottoming out and period of no change once again. As you can see this is much more erratic and doesn’t represent constant change, it represents sudden change and periods of no progression. Now to apply this to your situation, you did say that the guy demanded allot of your time and was almost to the point of being clingy. This is the plateau that I am talking about. During these periods the emotion would spike and stay at a high unchanging point, and then very suddenly drop and he would be distant until there was another spike.

 

I can only imagine this is not an easy person to deal with, let alone be in a relationship with. However I do feel this is not all on him. Sometimes we enable our partners, or people we are in relationships with, to do things that are counter productive or destructive to ourselves to maintain a relationship. This requires that both parties take an active roll in this. I think you might have let him overstep his bounds, and that opted him to take you for granted and to compensate you let him almost walk all over you to keep the relationship a float. I will say that it’s not the first time someone in a relationship has done this, so it’s ok. I will tell you that the relationship was almost destined to fail. The reason being that allot of clingy people wear thin on the other person and the relationship, and almost always are in the business of self sabotage. I have seen it with my own friends and relationships and to date it has been a 100% failure rate.

 

Right now things are still confusing, as they should be, but give it a little bit of time and you will have that moment of clarity about the relationship you were in. I think the best idea for you would be to get out and meet some new people, get into a new activity, and in your case start over. Above all else the most important thing is getting back to who you are, rather then waste your time and energy wondering what happened. Like I said he would have sabotaged the relationship in one way or the other, and you would have been in the same spot or worse. Everything takes time, and sooner then later you will find that guy who won’t ask you to sacrifice what is important to you to make him happen, and will, excuse the pun, be on the same wave length as you. I hope this helps.

 

-Ty